Tis better to have loved and lost . . .

Okay, was that guy out of his mind? I'd love to push him down a flight of stairs. I'd rather never have loved at all than to feel what I felt the other day.

In case you haven't guessed yet, I was dumped. Yeah. It was harsh too. Okay, set scene.

Jigsaws Coffee Shop, approximately three or four pm. A friend of mine is taking me out for a cup of coffee and we're sitting outside in the smoking section. Just talking. The day's been pretty good so far, really.

And ACTION . . . .

Roy, my boyfriend, comes around the corner. I haven't seen him a little while because he's apparently been avoiding me. But I missed him. I'm happy to see him, so I call out, "Hey, Roy!"

He looks over and sees me, and walks over. Before I can even say how are you, he drops the bomb. IT went kind of like this.

"Hey, Roy! How--"

"Uroki, listen. I'm just not feeling it anymore. Sorry. I'll see you around."

Then he walks off down the street, leaving me with this big sharp spear right through my heart, in the middle of the Smoking Section at Jigsaws.

That was last thursday. Today is Tuesday, and I've been crying my eyes out all weekend. Now, keep in mind, I'm the tough one. I don't cry, I don't scream. I don't lose it. I generally don't even get too pissed.

But I'm losing it now. Ever been hit by a mallet? That's what it felt like. And I didn't see it coming. Not at all. I should have, now I look back I see all the signs. But then I didn't. So on top of feeling stabbed, I feel stupid.

And I'm left with all these questions.

Am I so boring that someone can just decide I'm not worth it just like that? Am I so easy to toss aside like last summers clothes? Am I just boring? Is there something wrong with me? Why? Why? Why?

To hell with it. To hell with Roy, Love, Dating, Men, Romance, and everything to do with it. I'm done, it's over. It's not worth the pain.

So, whoever said Tis Better to have loved and lost than to never love at all, FUCK YOU RIGHT TO HELL.